It’s okay to say NO. - The world will manage to go on somehow if you don’t make that extra batch of cookies for the bake sale or help with your brother’s garden shed construction. I realized that I was taking on activities that were not realistic or healthy simply because I did not want to be perceived as lazy or unhelpful. Side note - it’s also okay to say “I can’t do THAT but I can do THIS instead.”
It’s okay to leave things for later. - You are not Martha Stewart. You are not Bob Vila. That’s okay and people don’t live like that in real life anyway. Your life will not be over if there are unsent emails or dishes in the sink. Your life will, however, grind to a screeching halt if you overdo it and have to spend a week on the couch. If you’re going to do that, make sure it’s for a damn good reason.
It’s nobody’s business what I do or don’t do. - Even if I love them, no one has a right to control my life. No one but me knows how I feel (physically or emotionally) and therefore no one has the right to judge the decisions I make. If I choose to not pursue a treatment because it’s not right for me, that’s MY business. If I choose to conserve my energy one day so I can get away with extending myself another day, that’s also MY business. Nosey commentary, invasive questions, and snark are not welcome and will be dealt with politely and accordingly.
Put your effort and energy where YOU want it, not where others think it should go. - I think that’s pretty self explanatory :) Effort and energy are finite resources for me, and I’m going to manage them in a way that makes sense for my life.
Pursue happiness and remove negativity. - The most difficult lesson here for me has been to see that much of the negativity in my life was coming from within. Yes, I’m in pain all day every day and it sucks balls. Yes, I sometimes miss out on things that I don’t want to miss out on because of that. That doesn’t mean I can never enjoy anything. The struggle for me is not in finding the right medical treatments, diet, exercise regimen, etc etc ad nauseam, it’s learning to turn away from all that and realize that there’s more to me than this illness. If science discovered the magic bullet a year from now, but I let my whole life become consumed by my reactions to my physical ailment, then what will I have left when it’s gone? Wherever the negativity is in your life, turn away from it and towards something that makes you happy, whatever that may be as long as it’s healthy.
Your mileage may vary, love and gentle hugs to all :)